Final Fate of ThinkCheese, the Cheesemoon, and Cheeseworld Jul 13, 2019 1:59:17 GMT void likes this
Post by The Dank Ass Communes on Jul 13, 2019 1:59:17 GMT
During the month of April 2019, the culmination of years of international efforts to combat the ThinkCheese megacorporation, which ran the nation of Cheeseworld, came to fruition when ThinkCheese was forced to declare bankruptcy and most of its executives committed suicide during various intelligence raids, rather than be arrested. The remaining exectuives were arrested and stood trial in international court for their extensive crimes against life in Cheeseworld. However, during this time, as a final insult to the world, the remaining executives had the lifesupport systems of the Cheesemoon, ThinkCheese's artifical moon made of their toxic cheese product, shut off, which led to the deaths of all 20,000 Cheeseworld workers who lived aboard the artificial body.
While the executives were punished to the fullest extent of international law, their final action led to the destablization of the Cheesemoon's orbit. Without workers on board to maintain its systems, and with all automated systems shut off, the Cheesemoon began on a collision course with the DSA, which would have obliterated our world. The news was not able to be contained and panic set in across the world. Amidst the pandemonium, many of the world's governments, the ones whose hands were not tied up in attempting to restore order, or were not themselves falling into the doomsday frenzy, attempted to assess all possible solutions to divert the course of the Cheesemoon or restablize its orbit. Various members of the Iskarian Intracontinental Union insisted that it was not possible to do either, not in the three week window that the world had before the Cheesemoon collided with our world. They further insisted that it was not even desireable to preserve the Cheesemoon, with the president of the Republic of Xingal, Anna Müller qutoed labeling it "an abominable monument to the sins of capitalist monsters", the president of the Grand Federation of Gallifrax, Eama O'Muircheartaigh, quoted saying, "[the Cheesemoon] is a cosmic eyesore that insults us all so long as it's up there", and the First Speaker of the Neurodemocratic Collective of Dank Ass Communes, the Meta Intelligence Cyara i'Yasa-Kordani, quoted saying, "that thing's wack, blast that shit, no one wanna see that in their telescopes, shit's offensive, seen?".
The IIU insisted that the only possible solution was the destruction of the Cheesemoon and, using their collective capabilities in space, began on deploying space based excited particle weapons provided by the Dank Ass Communes, the first use of the Galvanized Oscillating Juxatopsed Ionized Reaction Accelerator (GOJIRA) Beams. This was promptly brought to a halt by a DSAC representative to the IIU, who warned the IIU that they would be in violation of section 2, subection 3, clause 4 of the DSAC, which prohibits the use of space based weapons of mass destruction and would face international condemnation if the IIU proceeded in this manner. This prompted a short but heated argument against the DSAC by the IIU, particularly from the nations of Xingal and the n-CDAC, which was furious at the intrusion of procedure in the face of an extinction event. Ultimately, the IIU was brought into compliance with the DSAC and a 4 day vote on the temporary suspension of 2.3.4 was passed for the members of the IIU involved in the deployment of the GOJIRA Beams.
7 overclocked GOJIRA Beams were deployed on Dankistani, Xingalese, and UKLPDS orbtial platforms, which sustained continuous fire on the Cheesemoon for 8 days non-stop, completely vaporizing the artifical body and averting global extinction. The vapors of the Cheesemoon reacted with the solar radition of Ikani, creating a spectacular cosmic light show which was enjoyed by astronomers and star gazers for the next 6 days following the total vaporization of the Cheesemoon.
What was once Cheeseworld remains. No longer held together by the ThinkCheese corporation, it is a wasteland of chaos, violence, and radiation, filled with nuclear mutant horrors and a population of highly territorial adherents to the concept of the Non-Aggression Priniciple, or the NAP, and meet any slight violation of their wildly varying conceptions of the NAP with great violence and even the use of privately owned, recreational tactical nuclear weapons. The extreme conditions of the island Cheeseworld sits on have made it completely impossible for any efforts at all to enter Cheeseworld and attempt to bring aid to its people. One effort by Jebist! missonaries from the Smeckledorfed Bois of Student Loan Debt is recorded ending in complete failure as the missonaries were nuked for violating someone's conception of the NAP and the survivors sold into slavery around Cheeseworld. What little was recovered from this mission suggest that most of the denizens of Cheeseworld actively desire to live in this way. It is advised to steer clear of the island of Cheeseworld at all costs.